grunty_freak ([info]grunty_freak) wrote,
@ 2008-02-04 22:15:00
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Current mood: crushed

Oh, no, emo time.
I'm way over my head with this SEARS thing. Seriously, I'm out of my league. I have no idea how to direct and I'm too intimidated/timid to actually try. In short I'm a mental wreck at this point. I mean, I want to continue with this and this is only the first practice, but I'm so out of the loop and I don't understand anything. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to create an image for myself out there, but no matter how many times people explain it to me I still don't get it. Like, at the production meetings I feel so...out of the loop. But it's not the people though, it's all just me. I'm just not ready for this.

I mean, it's just the first practice, so I'll see how things go, but I just don't want to let people down and I don't want this experience to be a waste of my time. I want to be useful, but I'm too passive.

Eventually, I want to go into the business, but if I'm this passive it'll never happen. But that's just the thing. It's scary. I don't feel...right directing people older than me - people who have more experience on the stage and probably know more about directing then I ever will. I mean, Fletcher told me that this is the place where I would get experience directing, but there must be another way. I'm so glad I wasn't picked as main director, otherwise SEARS would be a sinking ship.

I just have to be more assertive. I can't let everyone down, let alone myself.

In other news, 93% average, with a 97% in Drama. :D


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[info]enaranie
2008-02-05 08:23 pm UTC (link)
::pats:: Don't worry about it, it'll get easier. It sounds like the first time you've done something like this, so it's okay to not know what you're doing.

I don't know how to direct, either XP but could you ask whoever is main director about it? I guess it's all about getting your ideas across...

Anyway, good luck ^^ I'm sure it'll work out. Don't give up.

and well done for the grades! :D

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[info]grunty_freak
2008-02-05 10:39 pm UTC (link)
It's more fear than anything else and feelings of inferiority.

Thanks, though. :D

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[info]squishyorb
2008-02-05 11:06 pm UTC (link)
Aaron, you are BRILLIANT in anything to do with drama. Im sure you'll do fine. People in SEARS for my school have been practicing for months now. And I'd say you're better than some of the actors.

I know you can do this. :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]grunty_freak
2008-02-06 02:53 am UTC (link)
I just feel overshadowed. I mean, you haven't seen WESTDALE'S actors. They're kick ass awesome. Like, awesomeness awesome. I just don't feel right directing them. It's awkward.

Thanks, anyway. But hey, what play are you guys doing?

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[info]sparkle_heaven
2008-02-08 03:29 am UTC (link)
i was reading the banner things in your aud
and blakelock got to the sears thing lots too
so theyre probably good too

but aaron, once you get the hang of it you'll do amazing
maybe just sitting back and observing for the first few practices is the right thing to do
cause once you see what goes on and how it works you'll probably feel a lot more confident cause you'll know better what you're doing :)

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